Episodes List

Ep.1 How I Got My Groom

Air Date: 2009-11-13

Simon returns to Reading and recalls a school project that led to him unearthing a terrible secret about his parents' marriage and his sister revealing some devastating news.

Ep.2 How I Got My Plumes

Air Date: 2009-11-20

In 1998 Simon and Kylie form a pop band called E-male and hunky music teacher Mr. Carr offers to manage them. To Simon's surprise, when his Dad invites taciturn new neighbour Ross Kemp to dinner, he brings his significant other, who happens to be Mr. Carr. The two men have a big bust-up but Mr.Carr still takes Simon and Kylie to Birmingham for the Eurovision Song Contest. The boys get locked in a toilet and are rescued by contest winner Dana International, with whom they also appear, by accident, on stage. Simon grabs a plume from Dana's costume and years later it's still on his Mum's hat, though when he meets Dana again in the street she is not keen to reacquaint herself with him.

Ep.3 How I Got My Water Feature

Air Date: 2009-11-27

It's 1998, and Ground Force is at its height and Simon feels a desperate need for a water feature. Meanwhile, the women of Melody Crescent feel a desperate need to 'sloshercise' with hunky training instructor Tiger. Elaine Paige makes a stunning appearance in Simon's imagination. Warning: contains showtunes.

Ep.4 How I Got My Camp

Air Date: 2009-12-04

The Doonans plan a holiday abroad, but a plumbing disaster spoils everything. Meanwhile across the road, Kylie's father meets his match in the form of a snarling dog called Madonna. Warning: contains Bette Midler impersonations and a replica Eiffel Tower.

Ep.5 How I Got My Turner

Air Date: 2009-12-11

The Doonans go deep into the world of Brit Art when they meet rabble rouser Stacey Bile near the Kate Winslet memorial roundabout. This leads to several road accidents, imminent birth, blind ladies driving cars, and the Turner Prize. Meanwhile, Aunty Hayley has set herself up as a telephone astrologer with one rather obsessive client.

Ep.6 How I Got My Gash

Air Date: 2009-12-18

Simon is plagued by school bullies and decides to leave home to be with The Beautiful People. But as usual, nothing goes according to plan. Debbie, convinced that she's destined for stardom, becomes to talk of Melody Crescent. AS our favourite characters converge in the front room for Debbie's TV premiere, three questions remain: Will Kylie ever get out of the closet? Who is Puff Daddy's daddy? and... Will Simon meet his match?



Whoops! There was an error.
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7
ErrorException
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vendor
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src
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Illuminate
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Filesystem
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Filesystem.php
122
6
file_put_contents
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vendor
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laravel
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framework
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src
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Illuminate
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Filesystem
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Filesystem.php
122
5
Illuminate
\
Filesystem
\
Filesystem
put
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vendor
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laravel
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framework
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src
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Illuminate
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Session
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FileSessionHandler.php
83
4
Illuminate
\
Session
\
FileSessionHandler
write
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vendor
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laravel
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framework
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src
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Illuminate
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Session
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129
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Session
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vendor
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src
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Illuminate
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Session
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Middleware
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src
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Illuminate
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218
1
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Kernel
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vendor
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laravel
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framework
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src
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Illuminate
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Foundation
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Http
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Kernel.php
189
0
Illuminate
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Foundation
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Http
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Kernel
terminate
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index.php
60
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Filesystem.php
     *
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     * @return string
     */
    public function hash($path)
    {
        return md5_file($path);
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    /**
     * Write the contents of a file.
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     * @return int
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    public function put($path, $contents, $lock = false)
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    /**
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     * @return int
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        return $this->put($path, $data);
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    /**
     * Append to a file.
Arguments
  1. "file_put_contents(): Only 0 of 212 bytes written, possibly out of free disk space"
    
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Filesystem
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Filesystem.php
     *
     * @param  string  $path
     * @return string
     */
    public function hash($path)
    {
        return md5_file($path);
    }
 
    /**
     * Write the contents of a file.
     *
     * @param  string  $path
     * @param  string  $contents
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     * @return int
     */
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    /**
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  3. 2
    
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FileSessionHandler.php
    /**
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     */
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        return true;
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    /**
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        return true;
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    /**
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        $files = Finder::create()
Arguments
  1. "/home/mojforum/domains/datotekar.si/public_html/system/storage/framework/sessions/IhwQ989Ojtl8WtPO2SbfSuT9xvHRqFijvptWAD8O"
    
  2. "a:3:{s:6:"_token";s:40:"MVPBJk3yJnFTh6tL5pISDHGqedT16hz735RzbLde";s:9:"_previous";a:1:{s:3:"url";s:54:"https://datotekar.si/tv/7871/beautiful-people/season/2";}s:6:"_flash";a:2:{s:3:"old";a:0:{}s:3:"new";a:0:{}}}"
    
  3. true
    
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Store.php
     *
     * @param  string  $data
     * @return string
     */
    protected function prepareForUnserialize($data)
    {
        return $data;
    }
 
    /**
     * Save the session data to storage.
     *
     * @return bool
     */
    public function save()
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        $this->ageFlashData();
 
        $this->handler->write($this->getId(), $this->prepareForStorage(
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        $this->started = false;
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    /**
     * Prepare the serialized session data for storage.
     *
     * @param  string  $data
     * @return string
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    protected function prepareForStorage($data)
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    /**
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     * @return void
Arguments
  1. "IhwQ989Ojtl8WtPO2SbfSuT9xvHRqFijvptWAD8O"
    
  2. "a:3:{s:6:"_token";s:40:"MVPBJk3yJnFTh6tL5pISDHGqedT16hz735RzbLde";s:9:"_previous";a:1:{s:3:"url";s:54:"https://datotekar.si/tv/7871/beautiful-people/season/2";}s:6:"_flash";a:2:{s:3:"old";a:0:{}s:3:"new";a:0:{}}}"
    
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Middleware
/
StartSession.php
        if ($this->sessionConfigured()) {
            $this->storeCurrentUrl($request, $session);
 
            $this->addCookieToResponse($response, $session);
        }
 
        return $response;
    }
 
    /**
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     *
     * @param  \Illuminate\Http\Request  $request
     * @param  \Symfony\Component\HttpFoundation\Response  $response
     * @return void
     */
    public function terminate($request, $response)
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        if ($this->sessionHandled && $this->sessionConfigured() && ! $this->usingCookieSessions()) {
            $this->manager->driver()->save();
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    /**
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     *
     * @param  \Illuminate\Http\Request  $request
     * @return \Illuminate\Contracts\Session\Session
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    protected function startSession(Request $request)
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            $session->setRequestOnHandler($request);
 
            $session->start();
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    /**
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/
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Foundation
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/
Kernel.php
     * @return void
     */
    protected function terminateMiddleware($request, $response)
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    /**
     * Gather the route middleware for the given request.
     *
     * @param  \Illuminate\Http\Request  $request
     * @return array
     */
    protected function gatherRouteMiddleware($request)
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        if ($route = $request->route()) {
            return $this->router->gatherRouteMiddleware($route);
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        return [];
    }
 
    /**
Arguments
  1. Request {
      #json: null
      #convertedFiles: null
      #userResolver: Closure {
        class: "Illuminate\Auth\AuthServiceProvider"
        this: AuthServiceProvider { …}
        parameters: {
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          }
        }
        use: {
          $app: Application { …}
        }
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      #routeResolver: Closure {
        class: "Illuminate\Routing\Router"
        this: Router { …}
        use: {
          $route: Route { …}
        }
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      +attributes: ParameterBag {}
      +request: ParameterBag {#1}
      +query: ParameterBag {#1}
      +server: ServerBag {}
      +files: FileBag {}
      +cookies: ParameterBag {}
      +headers: HeaderBag {}
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      #languages: null
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      #basePath: null
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      #format: null
      #session: Store {}
      #locale: null
      #defaultLocale: "en"
      -isHostValid: true
      -isForwardedValid: true
      basePath: ""
      format: "html"
    }
    
  2. Response {}
    
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Kernel.php
     */
    protected function dispatchToRouter()
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    /**
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     * @param  \Illuminate\Http\Response  $response
     * @return void
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     * @return void
     */
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Arguments
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      #convertedFiles: null
      #userResolver: Closure {
        class: "Illuminate\Auth\AuthServiceProvider"
        this: AuthServiceProvider { …}
        parameters: {
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        }
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      #routeResolver: Closure {
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        this: Router { …}
        use: {
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      +query: ParameterBag {#1}
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      +headers: HeaderBag {}
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      #basePath: null
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      -isForwardedValid: true
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  2. Response {}
    
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index.php
|--------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Run The Application
|--------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
| Once we have the application, we can handle the incoming request
| through the kernel, and send the associated response back to
| the client's browser allowing them to enjoy the creative
| and wonderful application we have prepared for them.
|
*/
 
$kernel = $app->make(Illuminate\Contracts\Http\Kernel::class);
 
$response = $kernel->handle(
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);
 
$response->send();
 
$kernel->terminate($request, $response);
 
Arguments
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      #userResolver: Closure {
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        this: AuthServiceProvider { …}
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      #routeResolver: Closure {
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        use: {
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        }
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      +attributes: ParameterBag {}
      +request: ParameterBag {#1}
      +query: ParameterBag {#1}
      +server: ServerBag {}
      +files: FileBag {}
      +cookies: ParameterBag {}
      +headers: HeaderBag {}
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      #encodings: null
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  2. Response {}
    

Environment & details:

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empty
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Key Value
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SERVER_ADMIN
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SERVER_PORT
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REQUEST_SCHEME
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REQUEST_URI
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REDIRECT_URL
"/tv/7871/beautiful-people/season/2"
REDIRECT_REQUEST_METHOD
"GET"
HTTPS
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REDIRECT_STATUS
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X_SPDY
"HTTP2"
SSL_PROTOCOL
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SSL_CIPHER
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SSL_CIPHER_USEKEYSIZE
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SSL_CIPHER_ALGKEYSIZE
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SCRIPT_FILENAME
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QUERY_STRING
""
SCRIPT_URI
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SCRIPT_URL
"/tv/7871/beautiful-people/season/2"
SCRIPT_NAME
"/index.php"
SERVER_PROTOCOL
"HTTP/1.1"
SERVER_SOFTWARE
"LiteSpeed"
REQUEST_METHOD
"GET"
X-LSCACHE
"on"
PHP_SELF
"/index.php"
REQUEST_TIME_FLOAT
1757536185.4695
REQUEST_TIME
1757536185
APP_NAME
"SMDB"
APP_ENV
"local"
APP_KEY
"base64:OLOycmgOVMWH12z5q9XzJ7axXNzftPWP7rPz4LRAcJ0="
APP_DEBUG
"true"
APP_URL
"https://datotekar.si"
DB_CONNECTION
"mysql"
DB_HOST
"localhost"
DB_PORT
"3306"
DB_DATABASE
"mojforum_mtdb"
DB_USERNAME
"mojforum_mtdb"
DB_PASSWORD
"sonycanon007A"
BROADCAST_DRIVER
"array"
CACHE_DRIVER
"array"
SESSION_DRIVER
"file"
SESSION_LIFETIME
"120"
QUEUE_DRIVER
"database"
MAIL_DRIVER
"smtp"
MAIL_HOST
""
MAIL_PORT
"465"
MAIL_USERNAME
""
MAIL_PASSWORD
""
MAIL_ENCRYPTION
"ssl"
CAPTCHA_ENABLED
"false"
RECAPTCHA_ENABLED
"false"
NOCAPTCHA_SECRET
""
NOCAPTCHA_SITEKEY
""
GOOGLE_RECAPTCHA_KEY
""
GOOGLE_RECAPTCHA_SECRET
""
Key Value
PATH
"/usr/local/bin:/bin:/usr/bin"
APP_NAME
"SMDB"
APP_ENV
"local"
APP_KEY
"base64:OLOycmgOVMWH12z5q9XzJ7axXNzftPWP7rPz4LRAcJ0="
APP_DEBUG
"true"
APP_URL
"https://datotekar.si"
DB_CONNECTION
"mysql"
DB_HOST
"localhost"
DB_PORT
"3306"
DB_DATABASE
"mojforum_mtdb"
DB_USERNAME
"mojforum_mtdb"
DB_PASSWORD
"sonycanon007A"
BROADCAST_DRIVER
"array"
CACHE_DRIVER
"array"
SESSION_DRIVER
"file"
SESSION_LIFETIME
"120"
QUEUE_DRIVER
"database"
MAIL_DRIVER
"smtp"
MAIL_HOST
""
MAIL_PORT
"465"
MAIL_USERNAME
""
MAIL_PASSWORD
""
MAIL_ENCRYPTION
"ssl"
CAPTCHA_ENABLED
"false"
RECAPTCHA_ENABLED
"false"
NOCAPTCHA_SECRET
""
NOCAPTCHA_SITEKEY
""
GOOGLE_RECAPTCHA_KEY
""
GOOGLE_RECAPTCHA_SECRET
""
0. Whoops\Handler\PrettyPageHandler